All that could be heard in the darkness was my friends and I shouting his name, and the thuds and grunts of Anton wrestling with another guy.

Only a few minutes ago, we’d been standing together drinking beer, when the other guy made the dubious and drunken decision to put his arm around me.

Petersburg after graduating from my overpriced New York liberal arts college.

All of which is to say, I am dual in every way, and my plethora of multicolored passports is a worthy symbol of the cultural mish-mash of my personality. The first thing that you’ll notice when you get to Russia is that the women are astoundingly beautiful and immaculately presented.

In big cities, it’s not uncommon for a man to just run up to you in the street and say, “While all men like a challenge, the average American man tends to stop pursuit once you indicate that you are repulsed by his presence.

Russians, on the other hand, aren’t going to let a little thing like your disinterest keep them from being your boyfriend.

” it is with the greatest relish that I slap my American passport onto the desk and yell “That’s my visa! I was born into a crumbling communal building in St.

Petersburg in 1988, moved to New York when I was five, and then moved back into a different crumbling communal building in St.

This is why teaching ESL was booming there; for anyone who had any semblance of ambition, the goal was to learn English, the golden ticket to getting out.

The second thing you’ll notice is that Russian men are patriarchal alpha males, and, whatever your feminist textbook might have told you, this is initially a huge turn-on.

What happened next was awful, confusing, and I wanted it to stop.

But I’m not going to lie: Part of me was turned on. ”Suddenly, I wished my women’s studies professor from Sarah Lawrence were there.

The disintegration of male hygiene and work ethic that occurs when there is (by some counts) a 3:1 female:male ratio should be noted by anthropologists worldwide.