It won't take long for the kids to figure out that you really aren't who you pretended to be, and they will then conclude that you were using them to get in good with their dad.

At that point you will have your first obstacle to overcome -- one that is completely your fault.

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Instead, model for them what it looks like to approach a relationship in a mature manner: slowly and with respect and restraint.

That's a lesson that will serve them well in many ways. Your kids don't get to decide who gets cast as your boyfriend -- that's your decision.

Your kids deserve to be treated like people who are worthy of respect, not prizes that are up for grabs.

Don't Act Like You're Auditioning For Replacement Parent.

If, on the other hand, they end up not liking him, then your boyfriend can become a wedge between you and your kids, and that creates tension for everyone.

Protect your kids and your home life by holding off on the introduction until you're sure it's worth the upheaval it has the potential to cause.

A better approach is to have the patience to get to know each other gradually.

Rather than pretending to like every single thing about the kids only to have your real opinions come out later; you can slowly discover what you honestly have in common.

Just as you enjoy a piece of cake one delicious forkful at a time rather than swallowing it whole; take the time to savor each minute of this phase of your relationship rather than rushing ahead. Here's a common misstep divorced women make when it comes to new relationships: As soon as they've been on two dates with a guy, they want to introduce him to their kids.