Dating someone with adhd
Say a couple is struggling with a parent-child dynamic.
A way to overcome this obstacle, according to Orlov, is for the non-ADHD partner to give away some of the responsibilities.
But this has to be a done in a thoughtful and reasonable way so you don’t set your partner up for failure.
It requires a specific process that involves assessing the strengths of each partner, making sure the ADHD partner has the skills (which they can learn from a therapist, coach, support groups or books) and putting external structures in place, Orlov said.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can dramatically affect a relationship.
Research has shown that a person with ADHD may be almost twice as likely to get divorced, and relationships with one or two people with the disorder often become dysfunctional.
This might involve going on weekly dates, talking about issues that are important and interesting to you (“not just logistics”) and even scheduling time for sex.
(Because ADHD partners get easily distracted, they might spend hours on an activity like the computer, and before you know it, you’re fast asleep.)6. When untreated, ADHD might affect all areas of a person’s life, and it’s hard to separate the symptoms from the person you love, Orlov said.
“Leg 2” is all about making behavioral changes, or “essentially creating new habits.” Which might include creating physical reminders and to-do lists, carrying a tape recorder and hiring help.
“Leg 3” is “interactions with your partner,” such as scheduling time together and using verbal cues to stop fights from escalating.3. Regardless of who has ADHD, both partners are responsible for working on the relationship, Orlov emphasized.
Also helpful is generating ideas together about completing a project and “coordinating [your] expectations and goals.”As you’re starting to work on your relationship, the partner with ADHD might initially react defensively because they assume that they’ll be blamed for everything.
But this usually subsides “once they become more informed and less threatened and see that their partner is willing to take a chance [to improve the relationship] and make changes themselves” such as managing their own anger and nagging.4. External structural cues are key for people with ADHD and, again, make up another part of treatment.
(At the time she and her husband didn’t realize that he had ADHD.) She misinterpreted her husband’s distractibility as a sign that he didn’t love her anymore.