I was in the bathtub, helpless to a steady stream of warm water cascading down my lady parts, while the most intoxicating buildup brought me to my first orgasm.

Nothing in my hush-hush Catholic upbringing and innocent friend circle had prepared me for this earthshaking experience, equal parts pleasure and shame.

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I started staying up late, when Mom and Dad were snoring away in oblivion, to watch softcore porn on Cinemax. I didn’t know whether to hate her or love her, but I knew I needed her. My brother was three years older, and I'd wait for him to leave the house and then raid his stash, hidden in his bedside drawer under men's fitness magazines and school notebooks. Later, when classmates at my all-girls Catholic high school were talking about MTV, YM magazine and PMS, I was educating myself on all sorts of other acronyms: DP, POV, ATM and more. Some of the videos had horrible acting bits that made me giggle. This girl probably wanted to be an actress, but couldn’t make it. The more pitiful the story, the more I was turned on. What did it mean that my escape method was someone else’s supposed misfortune?Welcome to My Beeg Porn, the only source you need for free streaming porn videos online.The site is designed to satisfy all your sexual needs, whether you’re craving a pornstar blowjob, a hot teen hardcore fuck, or something a little bit kinkier.Robert Louis Stevenson will forever be an erotic novelist in my mind.My hormones were a freight train, and I tried to keep up.Usually gang bangs were a sure bet to getting off, but not this time. No longer was there enough shame in simply watching porn. I rarely allowed myself to surrender to the sensations or our connection — that’s not the kind of pleasure I knew. I needed to separate shame from pleasure, and the first step was to get rid of the source material I’d long used to enforce this bond.