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Take bantering and antagonistic flirting, for example.
The brain increases dopamine and norepinephirine, which regulates the brain’s pleasure and reward centers.
We associate the pleasure with the person and thus want to spend more time in their presence.
Their secret was very simple: they were fun to hang around with. It gave them a notable, long-term advantage over the guys who were all surface and flash, the ones who only had a handful of tricks and routines to rely on and the ones who got by on social pressure and status games.
If you talked to them, then you were going to enjoy yourself. they all loved these guys within minutes of meeting them. It took me a while to appreciate just what they had but once I understood, it was like a new world opened up to me.
and it’s Being fun and helping others have fun is a way of keeping dates and potential relationship partners engaged and invested in the relationship.
It’s a vital part of the chemistry that helps ensure that not only will she enjoy the first date but that she’ll be interested in coming back for a second… The worst dates date just drains the life out of everyone involved.
Because of the pervasive belief that sperm is cheap and eggs are expensive – the idea that women grant sexual access only to those who offer the best “value” – they tend to focus on the most obvious aspects of what supposedly makes men attractive: looks and material wealth, with “status” following third.
The problem is that they’re working on the wrong areas and a misunderstanding of just what makes somebody appealing to women. more often than not it’s not even in the top 5 of what makes a man attractive.
It’s known as the Reward Theory of Attraction – we are attracted to people whose presence or behavior makes us feel appreciated and liked.
When the feeling of pleasure at a person’s involvement in our lives outweighs the costs (someone who’s fun to hang around with but who causes problems through his behavior, for example) then we tend to be drawn towards that relationship over others.
My friend Miles – he who attracts women the way cheese attracts mice – was successful not just because he looked like the bastard son of Hugh Grant and Rob Lowe but because he knew how to be fun.