All articles on this site reflect the views of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of other Recovering Grace contributors or the leadership of the site.

Two weeks after the publication of this article, Darcy wrote some follow-up thoughts. EDITOR NOTE: If you are a reader who is unfamiliar with the specific courtship teachings of Bill Gothard and IBLP (the perspective from which Darcy writes), you can find more articles by clicking here.

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

post speed dating email-81

Once you put a man on a pedestal, he’s automatically looking down at you.

Once you tell him how great he is, he doesn’t know why he should write back. But the tone of that email should be flirty, funny, and challenging – the same as the email from a man that gets your attention.

So yes, Jane, don’t hesitate to contact that guy you’ve been eyeing. ” Presuming you’ve had a man write to you before, is it really all that interesting when he tells you that he thinks you’re cute?

There is nothing inherent about initiating an email conversation that screams out “desperate”. Where most women screw up that first email contact is by taking one of two approaches: 1) telling him how great he is, or 2) explaining why you’re great and why he should write back to you. Is there something particularly energizing in the phrase, “I think we have a lot in common”?

There are many times that I don’t realize just how much strange teaching I’ve had to undo in my life. She now lives in gorgeous Montana with her husband and three kids, loving life, writing about spiritual abuse and grace, and leading worship for church, retreats, and special events.

I usually don’t realize it until times when I try to explain them to someone else. A dear friend and I were talking about our kids and how to help them transition from children to adults. More posts by darcys | Visit the site of darcys Bill Gothard Advanced Training Institute ATI IBLP Institute in Basic Life Principles legalism grace authority fear guilt Freedom Recovering Grace abuse Basic Seminar healing Recovering manipulation rules ATIA standards spiritual abuse Homeschool false teaching love Bible parents submission sexual abuse courtship Christian liberty Training Center Gothard ITC Sin Headquarters working conditions culture homeschooling anecdotes Indianapolis Training Center What Now?Find the tone that shows that – and maybe he’ll feel lucky to have you.It’s a bit counterintuitive, but if your first instinct is to compliment him and explain your value, you’re not demonstrating that you have any value.If you want to meet a man at a bar, you cross the room, plant yourself eight feet to his diagonal, wait for eye contact and smile. While you might have “made the first move”, you’re still in control, since he has to approach you. Emails that tell a man that he’s interesting are dull.Emails that tell a man that you hope he writes back are weak.I’m really grateful, Jane, that you made that connection between a first email and a come-hither look at a bar.