I’m convinced our marriage would not have survived had God not changed my attitude, so that I stopped focusing on perceived shortcomings in my husband and on trying to change him, and instead woke up to my own shortcomings and allowed God to change me.A friend of mine recently told me of a romantic getaway she and her husband (also a physician) had taken this summer.
Please just accept the fact that you are in the midst of a demanding time of life, but that all those challenges will eventually pass (to inevitably be replaced by new ones). Your husband may even rediscover the creativity he put to such good use when you were dating.
In the meantime, I would recommend that you stop hinting and start acting.
If you are desperate for a date night with your husband, go ahead and plan one yourself.
Tell him that it’s important to you, but that you know he’s busy with school and are more than happy to make the necessary arrangements, so what day would work best for his schedule?
If you’re looking for romantic inspiration, the Dating Divas site is a terrific place to browse, learn, and start planning your next date night with someone special.
A few years ago, Tara Carson felt her marriage could use a little more excitement.
What do I do when my husband doesn’t see eye-to-eye with me on cultivating our marriage? I have brought to my husband’s attention numerous times (in playful ways, trying not to nag) that I would love to go on a date with him again (I can’t remember the last time we did), spend some time alone, that I need some romance in my life. He is only really amorous when he or I initiate intimacy. I’ve been thinking about you a lot and praying for your situation.
His response is generally a chuckle followed by a comment that we will “when we have the money.” It’s been a couple months now… We have friends I know would watch our son for free (we’ve done the same for them)…but I fear that if I give up on him initiating this and make all the plans myself, I will just resent him for not “being the man” and doing it himself. I pray about it and ask God to make this a priority to him…. Reading between the lines of your letter [abridged for this post], I can almost hear you thinking things like this: Let me just say that all these thoughts are lies straight from the pit of Hell. Satan is trying to blind you to the wonderful things your husband is doing, by focusing your attention on what he isn’t doing.
I’ve also prayed that God would change MY heart to be content with the romance in the mundane…. He was so romantic and creative when we were dating! Don’t fall prey to that trick, or the hurt you’re feeling now will grow and fester until you are completely bitter and malcontented.
Homemade desserts, hikes, galas, long chats on long walks, and he always initiated it which I LOVED. It is obvious from the [omitted] details of your letter that your husband is very devoted.
Thank you so much for making this happen.” They both knew it wouldn’t have happened otherwise, as the responsibilities of running a busy practice would have convinced him he couldn’t take time away.